Yesterday marks 4 years since I asked the love of my life to marry me and she said YES. In just a few days we’ll be back right where that magical moment happened only this time we’ll be taking my grandparents.
While our love story is definitely my favorite, it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows in the relationship department for me or her before meeting each other.
Today, however, we have a relationship more passionate, loving and fun than I ever could have imagined. This is why Amanda and I want to invite you to join us in Tulum this September for a brand new love and relationship retreat to share with you everything we have learned in creating a deeply satisfying, harmonious and long lasting relationship.
Spoiler alert: you’ll leave a happier, healthier and more loved person than when you arrived.
Whether it’s life, love, or business we both have experienced success and failure, and if we’re counting we’ve probably experienced more failure than success. The key isn’t that you succeed more than you fail, it’s that you learn from your failures in leading to your success.
Today in JRCtv we are diving into how to fail your way to success and the downloadable worksheet features one of my ALL TIME favorite books on the topic-talk about a game changer. You’re in for a treat!
To your success,
Prefer to read? No problem. Here is the transcription for today’s episode of JRCtv:
Hey there welcome back to another episode of JRCtv, this week we’re talking about how to fail your way to success.
Now when talking about failure there’s three things that will teach you some of the most important lessons in life. A hungry stomach, an empty wallet, and a broken heart. Now I know that’s very motivating and exciting to start this week’s episode with but there’s truth in that. If you’ve ever had a moment, I remember you know one time when I was in college I came home to my apartment and I checked the mail and I have a bunch of bills and I checked the bank account and there was a lot more bills than money in the bank account.
And I remember being like “Oh no!” and it wasn’t like a little bit off, it was like $50 compared to $2,000 off. It was like “oh” and there was no feasible income coming in the range these bills were due. Now I remember literally like having my stomach turn upside down, butterflies in my chest being like, “Oh shoot”, I really messed this one up this month.
And you know that will teach you a lesson like anything else, it’ll teach you how to prepare for the future. It’ll teach you how to organize yourself, it’ll teach you how to really make sure you don’t do that again hopefully, not everyone learns a lesson the first time. Not only that, I remember there are times in my life where you know I hate to bring these memories up but I’m, sure you’ve had your time to where you had a heartbreak.
You know I remember in high school crying myself to sleep and waking up still feeling sad because I broke up with a girlfriend at that time and it was pretty heartbreaking and sad at that time but I remember learning from that experience. I’m trying to figure out you know, what happened, what did I really learned in that process? How can I grow from this? How can I improve the next time around and make sure it doesn’t hurt as bad that time or a way to make sure I am better prepared from what might occur.
So there’s questions you can ask that can prepare you and we’re gonna put some of those in today’s download we wanna make sure you grab them and then finally, you know… a hungry stomach I know I’ve had days and times and luckily thank goodness, knock on wood I grew up in a very privileged position where both of my parents worked extremely hard in different ways and make sure that I never had nights where I’d go to bed hungry but I know all around the world there’s places where people do have that and then those nights where there are no food.
I remember one of my closest friends in San Diego he told me “You know some of the biggest lessons I learned is when I was 13 years old walking around town, dude a dollar would have changed my life on that day.”
and I said, “What do you mean?”
he’s like, “I just want a burrito and I’m pretty sure I could get one in a store for a dollar and I just didn’t have a dollar”
and I said, “ What did you learn from it?”
and he said “ You know, I learned I had to be hungry in life” (laughs)
and I said, “ No what does that really mean to you? “
and he said, “ I learned to be hungry enough, to work hard enough to never have a day in my life again that I’ll ever have to have that feeling in my stomach ever again and hopefully work hard enough that no one that I care about will have to have that feeling either.”
And I was like “Wow!”
So what’s interesting about this is looking at this moment of “failure” when things don’t work out, when things fall apart, when things aren’t going the way you want , there’s one key consistent element in all these stories that allow it to serve you instead of break you. And the one key element is something that an author of the book called, MINDSET, her name is Carol Dweck, she’s a researcher and she found out, there’s something called a “growth mindset”.
Now in today’s download, we’re gonna give you a bunch of key factors that a growth mindset has with. We’ve talked about this before if you wanna hear a whole episode of this just Google “growth mindset Jairek Robbins and I’m sure other JRCTV episodes will pop up that we talked about it then and a growth mindset one factor that it believes is “failure is part of the process”.
Failure in your relationship is part of the process. Having times when it breaks down and it’s not what you imagined it would be is part of the process, you know having times in business where you go out and you give your best effort and didn’t work out, part of the process, you know having times in your health where you worked really hard and you don’t get the result you really want or you hurt yourself, ouch…failure… part of the process.
And so what’s interesting is part of the process allow you to stay centered, to stay strong, and stay grounded when it happened and go… part of the process. But you can’t just go part of the process and keep doing the same thing and keep having the same failure over and over again, that’s a definition of insanity. Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result meaning if every time you go about doing it you always fail you need a new strategy.
And so this is interesting because failure is part of the process but not failing at the same thing over and over again. I remember I met a lady a long time ago, and she told me “Listen, sometimes when you run into a brick wall in life there’s usually three signals that life tries to send you before you actually have everything fall apart, the first that life send you is whisper, a little hint, a little soft intuition feeling that says hey you might need to update your strategy” and most people go… “ ahhh whatever “ and keep going.
And eventually life takes a brick, and it just throws it at you and it says, “Hey! Update your strategy” and you’re like “Awww, it kinda hurt I bet if I just keep going I bet it’ll work” and some people keep letting it happen long enough that it burns everything down in your life. What does that look like, your marriage falls apart, your business goes bankrupt, you go to the doctor and he says “Hey, you have so many days, weeks, or months to live.” That’s life going “Hey! Attention! You need to update your strategy.”
That’s the extreme example. I always tell people, listen to the whispers of destiny because they’re really really useful if you hear them. And the key with this that you want to remember in listening for the whispers of destiny you wanna teach yourself to listen to your intuition.
Our friend Gabby Bernstein she’s been a guest in JRCtv she talks about listening to your inner guide and how to de-clutter your mind and emotions and the spiritual side of yourself to become more in tune with your intuition it’s a beautiful book she’d written on that process.
So, with that in mind what you wanna do is you wanna be really in tune with your gut so that you hear the whispers when life throws them in your way and you can allow them to guide you through the process of when you need to update your strategy and when you need to stay persistent, the key here is though throughout the process whether it’s staying consistent and persistent or it’s updating the strategy, either way, there’s one truth to be told and one truth to be told is you need a growth mindset if you’re gonna claim that victory in the end.
So I highly recommend that go grab a copy of Carol Dweck’s, Mindset and I highly recommend to download the worksheet today the reason I point down is hopefully it’s on the blog here. Download today’s worksheet and you wanna answer a handful of questions on there to help you figure out if you have a fixed mindset or a growth mindset as well we give you a link to a website to Carol Dweck created on how to shift your mindset from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset if you happened to be caught up in the fixed mindset.
Have fun with this, go apply it, share it with other people you know we have a philosophy of learn what it takes, live it and apply it yourself, and give it, pay it forward so make sure to pay this forward to friends and family who you believe that could benefit. Have fun with this and I look forward to next week for another episode of JRCtv. Bye.