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9 February 2019

100 Day Personal Performance + Business Growth Challenge (Day 38): Get vs Give

Jairek Robbins

In his insightful book “Give and Take,” acclaimed author Adam Grant delves into the fascinating dynamics of human behavior, particularly focusing on the roles of givers, takers, and traders in various interactions. Applying these principles to relationships, the concept of being a giver stands out as a powerful approach that can transform the way we connect with others. In this blog post, we explore the significance of being a giver in relationships and the positive impact it can have on fostering genuine connections and nurturing long-lasting bonds.

  1. The Philosophy of Givers, Takers, and Traders:

In “Give and Take,” Adam Grant introduces three archetypes that represent how individuals interact with others. Givers are characterized by their selfless nature, offering help and support without expecting anything in return. Takers, on the other hand, tend to prioritize their own interests and seek to gain as much as possible from others. Traders, a balance between givers and takers, engage in mutually beneficial interactions where they expect something in return for their acts of kindness. Understanding these roles helps us reflect on our own behavior in relationships and identify opportunities to become more giving individuals.

  1. The Essence of Being a Giver:

Choosing to be a giver in relationships means embracing a philosophy of altruism and generosity. Givers prioritize the well-being of others and derive genuine joy from making a positive impact on their lives. Whether it’s offering a listening ear, providing support during difficult times, or sharing their time and resources, givers exemplify empathy and compassion.

  1. Building Trust and Authenticity:

Being a giver in a relationship is a powerful way to build trust and authenticity. When you consistently show genuine care and concern for others, they feel valued and appreciated. Trust is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship, and givers naturally foster an environment of trust and openness.

  1. Creating a Positive Cycle:

The act of giving in relationships often sets off a positive cycle of reciprocity and kindness. When you give without expectation, others may feel inspired to reciprocate and offer their support when you need it most. This cycle of giving and receiving strengthens the bond between individuals and contributes to the overall well-being of the relationship.

  1. Fostering Empathy and Understanding:

Being a giver encourages the development of empathy and understanding. By actively putting ourselves in others’ shoes and seeking to understand their needs and emotions, we cultivate deeper connections and stronger emotional bonds. Givers are attentive listeners and readily extend their support, which fosters an environment of compassion and mutual respect.

  1. Enhancing Emotional Intimacy:

Emotional intimacy is a vital aspect of any meaningful relationship. Givers are more attuned to their partners’ emotions and strive to create a safe space where emotions can be expressed without judgment. This emotional availability enhances intimacy and strengthens the emotional connection between partners.

  1. Reducing Conflict and Improving Communication:

The philosophy of giving in relationships encourages open communication and reduces conflict. Givers are more likely to approach disagreements with empathy and a willingness to understand the other person’s perspective. This approach fosters a collaborative problem-solving environment, allowing partners to find resolutions that work for both of them.

  1. Nurturing Long-Lasting Bonds:

Relationships built on a foundation of giving tend to stand the test of time. The selflessness and care demonstrated by givers create a lasting impression on their partners, leading to stronger and more enduring bonds. As partners feel supported and cherished, they are more likely to invest in the relationship for the long term.


In the realm of relationships, embracing the role of a giver can be transformative and deeply rewarding. The philosophy of giving, as explored by Adam Grant in “Give and Take,” encourages empathy, trust, and emotional intimacy. By prioritizing the well-being of others and offering genuine support without expectation, givers create an environment of positivity and reciprocity. Strive to be a giver in your relationships and experience the profound impact of selflessness, authenticity, and enduring connections.

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