Guest(s): Gaby & Raj Sundra
Age: 45 and 52 years young
Location: Santa Barbara, CA
Bio: Gaby and Raj Sundra are the founders of Relationship Fun & Games, dedicated to relationships being more playful, peaceful and passionate. With more than 40 years of training and coaching between them and over a decade of being together in a committed relationship, Gaby and Raj have the education, experience, and attitude that can really help couples STOP FIGHTING and START HAVING FUN together instead. They help couples and individuals learn to “Keep the Fights Clean & the Sex Dirty” and to save being nasty for their sex life! BACKGROUND Both lovers of education, Gaby has a Masters Degree in Education, Counseling & Guidance and Raj has a Masters degree from Cornell University in Mechanical Engineering and Biomechanics with a minor in education. Gaby was in the past a teacher and counselor at Santa Barbara City College while Raj was the head of product design, taking Speck Products from $0 to $20 million in 3 years. They met, and soon both quit their careers to go make a bigger difference in the world, together. They live in Santa Barbara and now have two companies where they have counseled hundreds of teams, people and couples on how to… get clear on what they want (rather than complaining about what they don’t want) build habits around following through on what they said they wanted and on turning impossible dreams into awesome realities.
The world needs more: More playful, peaceful, passionate relationships. Happier, healthier, hotter relationships. Couples who engage in a pro-active, forward focus on what they can ALIGN on and move towards TOGETHER rather than waiting to fall into conflicts that position them as adversaries. Not to mention the world needs more lightening up about personal development, relationships, handling conflicts, pursuing goals, etc.
WOW factor: Most people say WOW when they see our love. Or more commonly “wow. I want what you have.” To which we say “it didn’t come out of a cracker jack box like a prize.” We earned this intimacy by leaning into the lessons available in our conflicts. We were such a mess early on in our relationship that AT our engagement party, a dear friend pulled us aside, I thought to give us a gift. Instead, he said, “I don’t think you should do this. It looks pretty messy to me from here.” OUCH! But it WAS a gift. We knew the intuition that pulled us together would not be enough, we had to own our own upsets, refrain from blame and lean into the lessons we CHOSE with each other. We got married (even though some on the day of suggested we reconsider!) and it just got better and better and better to the point now that strangers on the street notice something is different about us and even stop us to say so. The second big moment was the first time we were asked t speak on relationships. Six couples spoke. We spoke 4th. People LOVED it. There was lots of praise and calling us to do more of it. The only complaint was people were laughing so much they couldn’t hear everything we had said. It took two years of convincing after that but five years in we are loving being known for helping couples shift out of BLAME and into BLISS. WAY too many couple relationships go bad JUST when the transformation is getting good. One final WOW factor is we help couples create visions for their future that they are BOTH inspired by. Then we help them create goals every 90 days to make that vision more of a reality. I even craft a “mantra” they can say daily to anchor into who they SAY they want to be rather than waiting for the conflict to demand their attention and drain their energy. My husband and I say ours every morning at breakfast….”I love my marriage and my husband/wife. We are playful, peaceful and passionate. We’re hot for each other and express it daily. We generate with intention. We communicate with care. We seek to spot, understand and meet each other’s needs and delights. We contribute to the world. We care for our bodies. We’re on top of what is to be done and abundant with our finances, time, energy and love.” We remove the adversarial element and foster the ally opportunity. 🙂
Favorite color: Orange