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17 February 2020

10 Tips to Heal from a Heartbreak

Jairek Robbins

There are moments that happen in life, and specifically the type of moment that we are talking about today. Three or four people have reached out to me in the past 24 hours asking about this type of moment. So, I sat down and brainstormed, asking myself what ten things would help if you found yourself in such a situation in your life. The moment in life we are referring to is how to heal after a breakup or heartbreak.

If you have ever had a heartbreak, if you’ve ever been in this kind of moment whether it is a relationship ending or a friendship, or the loss of something or someone (a pet, an animal, a job you love) broke your heart, or seeing an injustice broke your heart, I would like to know in the comments what made you heal from that situation. What helped you to get back to your best self? 

Here’s ten things that I believe, for anyone in that position, could help you get back to your best self.

1. Taking a 30-Minute Walk Out in the Sunshine

Now there’s two things happening here. Number one, getting out and walking, moving your body and getting some fresh air. Oftentimes, when our heart breaks and we are so sad, we want to lock ourselves indoors and not do anything. In this case, get outside, breathe some fresh air, and take a walk! 

Ideally, there is some sunshine out there. That sunshine will help to kick some vitamin D into your nervous system and the breathing will help energize your mind and body, and that is the second thing happening here. The movement will help cleanse out some of the toxins and the negative feelings that are building up. So do a 30 minutes’ walk out in the sunshine. 

2. A Giant Hug from Someone You Love

When your heart is hurting, when you are in one of those moments where it feels like the world is ending and you don’t know where you can go or what you can do, go get a hug from someone you love. 

Another time to get a big hug is after you’ve been traveling a lot. The reason this is helpful is that it releases oxytocin in your body. This is going to make you feel better from the inside out, and good, warm snuggles are also real good, they just feel good for most people.

3. Cry It Out

I remember one of my favorite little phrases I learned from a group of monks from India that I was hanging out with is that “all emotions felt fully lead back to joy.” 

Oftentimes, we fight, or we are tense or we don’t want to cry. But when you just take time to feel those negative emotions fully, allow them to work their way through your system, breathing through it, feeling it and be there, you will finally find joy.

My wife and I were watching a birthing video the other day and the only thought was that the only time pain shows up is when we have tension and fear. Tension and fear.

The same thing is happening here; you have tension around or about something you didn’t want to happen in your life but it is happening, and you are fearful that it might happen again or maybe you will never get out of this situation. All these fears and tensions pop up, and they cause pain. 

Release the tension, release the fear. Flow with it. Breathe with it. Cry it out!

4. If Crying It Out Doesn’t Work, Hit the Gym and Work It Out

Go do something to get your endorphins kicking. Physically get active. Go work out harder than you’ve ever worked out before. Get your heart pumping and feel good. Feel good and strong when working out. 

5. Take a Deep Dive Into an Old Hobby

Go and do something you haven’t done in a while, something that used to make you smile whether it is painting or woodcraft, whether it is journaling or writing or reading, do something that really brings your soul back to life. Find something that you used to enjoy but haven’t done in a while.

6. Journal About the Lessons Learned

This is really important; journal the lessons learned. Not, “I hate that stupid face!” Journal the lessons learned from the experience. What did you learn from this relationship? What did you learn about yourself? What did you learn about how you behave? What did you learn about what you want more of? What did you learn about what you don’t want any more of? What did you learn about other people? What did you learn about how they behave? What are the lessons you can get from this whole experience that you can take going forward?

Related: A Real Talk On Love And Legacy

7. Create a New Compelling Future

Oftentimes, the reason a heartbreak hurts is because we’ve created a compelling future in our mind of you and them together forever. You saw what would happen next, you felt it, you dreamed about it, you were excited about it, you were certain it was going to happen, but all of a sudden it explodes and you think, “Oh my Gosh! What am I going to do? It’s not going to happen.”

Now what? That is a good moment for you to rip out your pen and paper and recreate a new compelling vision. You have to ask yourself what you want your future to be like now that this other person isn’t going to be a part of your future. How am I going to live my life? What am I going to do? Where am I going to go? What is going to be possible? Create a new compelling vision.

8. Watch 10 Minutes of Something Funny Every Day

Again, this goes back to endorphins, this goes back to bringing back the best version of yourself. Watch ten minutes of something funny that makes you laugh out loud, for ten minutes every day. Put a timer on, watch the funny, laugh like crazy, and turn the timer off. Ten minutes. Every day.

9. Volunteer and Go Help Someone Else in Need

Go and help someone who is struggling. We just had two or three big earthquakes here in Puerto Rico, and one of the most beautiful things I saw last Sunday was that one of the highways was completely dead-stopped because there were so many cars driving towards the people who needed help and every car was packed with supplies. 

I was like, “Wow, all these people are stepping outside of themselves and going to help someone in need, and by doing so, it is going to help them heal whatever they are going through, whatever things were paining or frustrating them.” All of a sudden they will find themselves free from those things while they are out there helping and making a difference.

10. Get Some Sleep

Get lots and lots of sleep when you are going through a heartbreak. Go to bed early, and if you can, get up a little later. When your body is healing from such deep hurt, getting plenty of sleep makes it possible for the body to repair and heal itself better.

So, those are the ten things that will help you if you are ever dealing with a heartbreak. What I would love to see in the comments section, what I would appreciate your help with is that I want you to write something that helped you heal from a heartbreak in the past so that other people who might find this video can go and look through the comments and find other additional ideas that might work for them. 

As good as my ten ideas are to help people heal, they might need number 11, 12, 14, 20 or 27 which is going to come from you out there. So please, write down in the comments one or two ways that helped you heal from a heartbreak in the past. Thank you very much, I hope this is useful, and I hope to see you all tomorrow. God bless, have a great evening, morning, afternoon. I will talk to you later!

To Your Success,

Jairek Robbins



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